#355: How To GOT ONE ON THE BOARD, BABY
SUMMARY KEYWORDS
dating app podcast russia business people fucking thought russian tickets text texting business insider steal ron mouth companies episode feel article interesting
SPEAKERS
Law (67%), Speaker 2 (33%)
Law Smith
0:01
and equity podcasts and streaming show the number one comedy business business comedy podcast in the world. Yeah,
0:13
soundboard
Law Smith
0:14
Hey, no, no, they don't have any sound my mouth, my mouth. Just let that sit.
0:28
There's a lot of people get the joke that you don't get
Law Smith
0:31
you got to make in your mouth. You tell budges Alright, we're 2020 best small medium enterprise This inspired by guests the United States were 2020 ones, test podcasts and streaming entertainment studio, eastern United States media innovator words 2021 Number 2020 global Lux awards or something like that.
MF
Matt Fernandez
0:55
Yep, that's the one we just rebrand everything the three like Trumka. Big Daddy, daddy team. Listen to us on iTunes Apple podcast as Spotify, Google podcast, Amazon podcasts. Samsung Galaxy for the Yeah, we're on that as well. This episode brought to you by biome your gut biome test, get get intelligence test supplements with our Lincoln Health Insights, personalized food recommendations, and precision supplements. Formulated just for you get that flora and fauna going. Yeah, what's your what's your gut about?
1:35
Fauna, ghostly fauna?
Law Smith
1:37
What's your Guthrie's gut box all about? So yeah, let's get this one no guest list podcasts are about my sweat
Law Smith
1:53
equity I shouldn't be mad at you for getting me addicted to nicotine.
2
Speaker 2
2:14
I didn't do that. I didn't chew it for you.
Law Smith
2:17
That's fair. I I blame I blame truth for not telling me how great it was. It's pretty cool. Grown up gives me a little pop and now I'm just like little pop unchained gumming on chain June
2
Speaker 2
2:33
Yeah. Your mouth is gonna start rotting. It's I can I get I'm
Law Smith
2:37
sorry. I just got to the point where I'm getting like canker sore. I think you and that from owes
2
Speaker 2
2:43
me Yeah. Probably chewing on the inside of your mouth all the time
Law Smith
2:47
that are in too much box. Ah. Yeah, that's what I
2
Speaker 2
2:52
say when I get up on boards got a new look at relearn all the buttons.
Law Smith
2:56
What were you, you were texting a Russian? Not our friend Vadim from the previous episode,
2
Speaker 2
3:02
different one this website and I don't have it, but I'll put it in the show notes. I promise. They basically, I don't know how they're getting these phone numbers, but it'll generate a Russian cell phone number, okay. And then has like copy and pasted in Russian like the Kremlin is lying to you something you know, like, just straight up direct texting. And I got a read receipt. So that that was interesting.
Law Smith
3:31
So you're hoping the person on the other end is like legit person?
2
Speaker 2
3:36
Well, I mean, you know, I thought about like, what? What could you get? Like, what could you steal from me? digitally? Yeah, me texting and all the big deal.
Law Smith
3:48
They got a widget phone number. Yeah. To maybe call with
2
Speaker 2
3:52
I had to do the plus. You want you want to text one right now? Yeah, I would have to look it
Law Smith
3:57
up. Say how big is your wiener?
4:00
I didn't even think about that. We could have texted him whatever we wanted.
Law Smith
4:03
Right? Yeah, maybe we get their mind off everything. Oh, man. We can still do it. I can Vamp while you're looking this up.
4:12
I got I got a Russian. Well,
Law Smith
4:15
I got an interesting phone call. You know, I've been on those dating apps. I compare him to digital marketing a lot of ways. Yeah, because you're, we're in the digital marketing kind of field. And so the dating apps are kind of similar to that. I got an interesting dating app. gal that ghosted me, like three years ago. Uh huh. This is really strange. So she texts she texts me. This is a girl that straight up ghosted me and call me today. It was almost like she was an A to make an amends. Oh, nice. She she wanted to apologize for ghosting me
4:58
Wow, we was like, huh, is kind of crazy. Now. Wow,
Law Smith
5:05
give her give her points for doing that except for the thought I don't I haven't thought about it in probably two or three quarters years.
2
Speaker 2
5:14
Right, right. Like, now I'm trying to do the math. Well, it's
Law Smith
5:18
like, you know, I probably was like, at the time I was probably like, well, that's a bummer, but I didn't give it much more thought than that. I just go okay. She's a flake, whatever. No big deal. You know, really? I think really,
2
Speaker 2
5:34
it's hard for me to talk about because I, I know, extra beyond what you want to talk about on the podcast. No, there's general isn't in general. There's not much more I'm just trying to figure out who was
Law Smith
5:48
I don't you never I don't think you ever met her. Or him are protected. You don't know. Now we I think we went out once. You know, this is I think I told you she came to a Stand Up Show. And she was doing all this bullshit. What happened? Well, that's what I thought. You know, I read that I had to really go back and in the texts that we had and I was like, the last text is like, what's it called Allah? I'll leave you some tickets at the at the front. Right? That's the last text we had at the at the Ebor improv, the Tampa improv, and I gotta leave you some tickets under your name plus one or whatever. The backstory behind that is like, the night before we were hanging out, and she's telling me all this stuff about you know, basically how like virtue signaling she she was, and like, how I need, I need religion in my life, or I need some kind of like, I'm like, Oh, this, this seems like I made I have a thing for checks that like project. But that seems to be a common thing. Well, so she started talking to me about all this stuff. And I philosophically it was just going back at her it was a friendly conversation. But I think I made her feel not that great. Why? What did you do? I was just like, well, you know, you claim your this. But yeah.
7:22
Take a nice apology. No,
Law Smith
7:24
no, this is I'm talking about three years ago, I'm going night before I got I did a stand up show I gave her tickets. She showed up with a friend. I went into religion and my act at kind of at her a little bit, right? Because it was top of mine. Probably
7:39
you're doing your comedy at me?
Law Smith
7:42
Well, I some people do feel that I do get people after shows like what you said was offensive and like, right. It's like, Who touched you who hurt you? Like it's not? It's not me. The 299 Other people laughed. Sorry. Um, you know, and so I was like, wow, she really, I and I've never really to me, and so I know myself that I know. Like, I didn't go hard in the paint on it on either the night before or during the, during the show. But I definitely like poke the bear a little bit. And I thought it was from that. So I never like, I think she was like, Oh, that was God's wrath. She never weighed around after the show. Because I was like, I'll be out of my set. We can go do something or whatever. And, and just was a no show. I think she left her my set. And so, so slam the door real art. Well, I'm always like, but part of me. Part of me is like I didn't I'm just trying to make people laugh is a different state. It's a little stage. Like, it's a different setting, you know? Yes. And then that was our last text was about leaving our tickets. So I was like, I think we made plans to meet up after and she didn't show up. And I was like, Okay, well, she's like, but she called today was like, it what I did was not cool. I read some article that about ghosting that, that it's actually like a better way to break off ties. And I was like, Yeah, I think I agree with that article. But I didn't really I wasn't like, sobbing about it. You know? Yeah. The dating app stuff until you're really dating someone seriously. It's like, there's going to be an element that they could go sit in any moment. Yeah. Yes. So. So that was I don't know what to do with that information. I just, it happened today. Like it happened three hours ago. So I was just like, Nope, just
2
Speaker 2
9:39
saying, yeah. Well, I mean, that rarely happens. Take it for what it is.
Law Smith
9:45
And then I was like, I didn't know in the conference. I was like, how's life been going? She's like, Oh, I've had a baby. Whoa, whoa, okay. And
9:57
that's a new wrinkle. That's that
Law Smith
10:00
were the dude that she was with during the COVID pandemic lockdown that they're not together. And I was just like, oh, okay, well, I gotta, I gotta, and then she beat me to the I gotta go. Well, she's like, Well, I gotta study for some pathway. I got a client coming in. I was like, yeah, she said three things she had to go for. And I was like, I don't believe any of that. I was just like, all right. Well, I'll talk to you never. I don't know.
10:28
I got chicken burnin.
Law Smith
10:31
You find that site?
2
Speaker 2
10:32
Yes. The site is 1920 dot i n. You basically go to the gym? Yeah, yes. Or Indiana? Do they have their own internet?
Law Smith
10:45
No. Be sort for internet could be going free anyway, free nom.com If you want a country code domain, okay.
2
Speaker 2
10:55
And yeah, you can go on there and it gives you three choices, send an SMS, WhatsApp, or an email. And then you can copy and paste and it'll give you an email address or a phone number. SMS. I hit the hit the little plus for everything. Oh. But yeah, no response.
Law Smith
11:18
Yeah, it's the way they might. They might not have the ability to talk outside of the country. You might have to what to Apple? Probably. Yeah, apparently. That's what they all do. Yeah. I'm all them crazy white people over there. Yeah. The what's interesting on the business side of all the Ukrainian Russian war, which I don't know if it's me, it feels like the news of this has died down a little bit in the last couple of weeks. Yeah, I
2
Speaker 2
11:47
hope it stays that way. Well, I'm not electively, it's not so much.
Law Smith
11:51
I mean, just like the board updates any. Right, right, but I'm saying like,
2
Speaker 2
11:55
hopefully they're not piping in with horrible, horrible news. You know, like, if it's kind of what it is right now. I mean, to say that you kind of take it. Yeah. Although I didn't pay them in the last couple of days. What happened? I don't know. I think the saying it up to Danny.
Law Smith
12:12
No, if it feels that way, I've invited stuff I you know, I don't really seek out new so it comes my way kind of thing. Kind of how you have your life set up? Like, yeah, we don't really we're not CNN, Fox News junkies or anything like that. Oh, for sure. Like, when's the last time you purposely turn one of those channels on? Oh, my God. No, 520s when you're like I should, I should rest are watching TV, grownups. I'm gonna be responsible. So mom and dad, I can do it. What's interesting is the, you know, the companies that are pulled out of Russia and the ones that happen for business reasons.
12:55
What are the ones that haven't listed?
Law Smith
12:58
I can find one I had, I saw a meme of it. Like, these are the countries that have not pulled out of Russia, or businesses that have not pulled out of Russia. Well, I
2
Speaker 2
13:08
mean, that's you know, gotta stop buying from those guys that are probably shit that you can't live without
Law Smith
13:15
it. My biggest thing was I thought we got all our oil from Canada which was like the biggest like misnomers here we go Business Insider you slutty slut website pulled out while many are were quick to pull out of pull out of Russia in the aftermath. Did you come in other others have been selected to treat like McDonald's? Coca Cola Starbucks
2
Speaker 2
13:45
well okay, the crazy thing that I did see on Reddit was video inside a you know like a grocery store they're there's nothing they're already there. There's nothing on the shelves already. So and those people aren't fighting that war that's what sucks like oh they're they have the regular people to in most it's like 1% Maybe
Law Smith
14:09
you're telling me they don't get Oreo Ritz Cadbury tried it GM. What? Business Insider is like the it is like the tabloid for business articles. Isn't this tabloid it's so guarded. Like it makes LinkedIn articles look a lot like business review. Oh wait, we got a top 10 list here. Salvatore Ferragamo doesn't care the Italian fashion company. Wow, Mars. Okay. Not not super nice air
2
Speaker 2
14:44
Interstellar. So what are large
Law Smith
14:48
Ooh, okay. Whiskers cat pedigree. Chappie Sheba brands. I
14:55
don't know any of those Kimberly Clark. As the toilet company
Law Smith
15:03
well they own Kleenex Kotex, and cottonelle so good luck wiping your ass everything. No department tissues.
2
Speaker 2
15:10
No, they're good. They're still there. Right? These are the ones that are still in Russia. Yes, reading those Russians pee and poop I'm just
Law Smith
15:19
saying like, the none of these have any effect. What's the purpose? Cody? cosmetic company. These are all fucking fluff. Hilton still around. Oh, yeah. Hi. It's still their international continental all hotels. Yeah, one could say they should. I mean, what are they supposed to do? I mean, I know. All the five hotel.
2
Speaker 2
15:49
The thing you own is there like you can't pick it up and move it can put your hotel on wheels and drive it off
Law Smith
15:56
the interesting ones Pornhub getting out of there. I wonder if that'll have some crazy effects.
2
Speaker 2
16:01
You want to know it's funny. I live stream studio what we use to film this podcast had an update today. And then once I blew it up, open it up. At the top it says live stream studio made in bomb shelters in Ukraine. Oh, okay. I was like, oh shit, right. That's, that's you know, and we're using it you know?
Law Smith
16:27
Some give us some branding guy people call me cool Eric in the live stream. Some some branding guy in live streams. Like we got it. We got to talk about it. We should let them know they're like we got it. We got to promote this fact. About us.
16:42
Yeah. Hey, use it. You want
Law Smith
16:48
Baba Baba? Yeah, so I guess a bunch of energy companies are exiting a bunch of finance companies that could really hurt. He said all the real rich oligarchy money's all kind of hidden.
2
Speaker 2
17:00
They're going crazy. People are taking over boats and houses.
Law Smith
17:06
Yeah, but the one the one thing that like Russia has been through before is like having nothing.
2
Speaker 2
17:12
Sure. Right. They barely had much to begin with. Everything in Russia looks like it sucks. Yeah, all their stuff. It always looks
Law Smith
17:19
great. Every always looks old as gray and blue
2
Speaker 2
17:23
colors. How are they still making new things from the 80s? krokodil. I mean, you know, I'm saying there's nothing ever like, wow, that's slick. Russia. Yeah, no, it's utilitarian. And they fucking doesn't even do that doesn't work, either.
Law Smith
17:40
I like taking a stab at the accent. Well, I think it's interesting. I mean, I don't have much more. Anything than what we've just talked. I'm not like, I'm in a rut. I don't know. I'm in a funk.
17:58
You're all fucked up. Girl calling you feelings. Feelings are all over the
Law Smith
18:05
place. No, no, no, no.
2
Speaker 2
18:07
No fucking thing sucks to say about this episode, and it's your fault.
Law Smith
18:12
I say we just call it why continue the madness. What we're not what we did half an episode. What we got to make you just sit here. Timeout. Timeout. My, my brain ain't working that's you want 10 tools to acquire more customers and 2022
18:36
out really not from you with your attitude right now. Well, I got some podcast bores,
Law Smith
18:45
what's going on in your brain? What's in your noggin? Some people call me cool. Eric.
2
Speaker 2
18:51
My, my daughter started a business on Sunday, where she went around and stole the Japanese plums out of my neighbor's yard. Mm hmm. She doesn't realize it's stealing. But I'm like, you can't be too blatant about that. Like you bring a basket down there. And she and her and her friend set up outside on the corner of my house selling bags of these things. To all my neighbors at $1 bag. And like I went in to try to tell me if I'm being a dick. I was trying to take a minute to explain the business stuff while she's doing it. And remember, you got to pay me you got to pay me for those bags. You're putting them in and just like I'm like what? Why? I was like this. I thought this was a teachable moment.
Law Smith
19:42
Well, I'm sure he didn't just come up and go you got pay me? I'm sure it came into conversation of like, is she like this is pure profit. Haha.
2
Speaker 2
19:52
No, she. She didn't get into it. Now all of this revenue is mine.
Law Smith
19:57
It's going right up my overhead Yeah, I mean, the I don't know, I probably do the same. I know I guess I can be autistic about it so I don't know like, I feel like it's kind of Ron White or Ron White Ron Parks and Rec Ron. Do let me die on that. Who's the guy? Nick? Nick Offerman on Parks and Rec.
2
Speaker 2
20:28
Yeah, there's a there's an animal there's a bird and his name.
Law Smith
20:33
Brains on working dude. It's not gonna jog anything. I tell you. I was I was almost asleep in a recliner right before we started. Funches that's economic.
20:46
John Ron Livingston.
Law Smith
20:50
John's the bad grocery store in LA Ron and Ron Swanson. He got the same rate talks about taxes. And he eats a little girl sandwich. Yeah, because let me teach you about taxes and he just eats the fucking almost the whole sandwich, right? You've kind of that's what it reminded me of.
2
Speaker 2
21:11
Okay. All right, fine. off the hook. All right. What about my swag
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