#329: How To Own What You Say And Then Be Sorry For It w/ Rayla Maurin

SUMMARY KEYWORDS

people black owned business business talking black podcast due diligence listening put ceos diversify amazon auburn friend comedy thought grasshopper fun coaching life

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Are you good to go? What do you think? Telling guys are upset is funny? I'm sorry. I'm just upset, right? Yeah. Okay, she's got it. It's in there. Alright, guys do it. Yeah.

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sweat equity podcast and streaming show the number one comedy business podcasts from behind. That's right. lizzo That's right. You get it? Yeah, you get you get that this podcast is about pragmatic entrepreneurial advice. Right.

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Right from the start right from the start. That's how we get the explicit tag on stuff. Yeah, I forget about it every time 2020s best small medium enterprise business advisory podcast in the United States. And we already won 2021 best podcasting streaming.

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Which This episode is sponsored by grasshopper try grasshopper then what then? What? I don't know. Jake, is that okay? Sorry. I just move on. Okay. We're running out of time. Try grasshopper comm forward slash sweat. It's $75 off an annual plan. That's the entrepreneurs phone like a business phone line, an app that's separate from the phone number you got on your iPhone. Or if you have a Samsung getting ripped off by that data from Google. Either way, grasshopper works on both that and works on your laptop, tablet, all that stuff, try grasshopper.com forward slash, like get to $75 off an annual plan. You can make vanity phone numbers. You can do 100 numbers. 69 for 20 they can all go in there. Yeah, you need two more but yeah, you get the you get the drill and nobody 69 for 20 whatever they do. 18334 2069

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But yeah, try them in there. Try grasshopper.com forward slash sweat 75 bucks off an annual plan who's looking you up? Like we do know why. Oh, buddy. Let's get started. Hi.

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My sweat equity.

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sweat equity.

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sweat. Woody.

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Woody.

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Woody, what really wanted you give your plugs at the top of the show before we get into it and forget to do it.

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We're okay. How do we hire you? What? What what Where can we find you? Yeah, sure. Yeah, thank you so much. So you can find me at Rayleigh or a YL a co that is where you can learn about me what I do how you can work with me how I can help you change your life.

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That's my group coaching program is I'm not really on social media. Ron knows I have an aversion to social media.

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But I'm more of an in person person. So if you want to connect otherwise like DM me hit me up email me contact me through my site happy to connect that if anybody's listening that wants to hit us up to get her info that miss that you know maybe you're jogging and do laundry, stuff like that. We'll pass we'll pass it along. I got you I got your email girl. Um, so I want to hear about the the coaching but I want to table that for the reason that we expedited you coming on the podcast because been wanting you on and just kind of I'm terribly unorganized. This podcast. Definitely. Oh, by the way, this is Eric. I don't know if you've met.

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So let me give you a little background. rail and I met what oh, four when you came to Auburn. For Tennessee Auburn game? Yes. You're like God, this guy's hot. And

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you're like, will you take me to the game? And I was like, Nah, man, I got too many days. I'm I'm in a sitcom situation juggling three already. I think everybody knows that. The guy asked the girl out on the date for the game. I know what made it unusual. I

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know I remember was that you are a friend of a friend that you came in for the game. And then I don't remember much else cuz that's what you do for. It was a good time. Yeah, you were in a fraternity. It was like a it was just a group of people that hung out

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with my friends and it just kind of

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happened. You didn't know what's gonna happen. I mean, like we just all find out. Yeah, huh. Yeah. Well that will let the listeners you know, take it from there, wherever they want. What are you in?

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The coolant says no, no, definitely not we I know no matter what you're about a gap. And you know what no, here's here's something they got they just got kicked off campus five years ago for Kochi. They know it was Alabama

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it's like so when you get cocaine in Alabama a typical

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real bad get kicked off campus at Auburn. Yeah, that's real bad. It's pretty fried. They're desperate for people now. Please come to Auburn. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Well, we're ours was diverse. Because we had guys from not Alabama and Georgia.

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We have white guys that were from other places. Interesting. Yeah. Yeah. What are why people like where you're from. I was like, I remember like, making fun of my friend Chris Davis for being from Cincinnati.

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We're making fun of him from being you know, be have the northern troops or whatever. And everybody turned on me. They're like, You're fucking northern. And I was like, What? I was like, Guys, technically, I'm more Southern than you are. And you know, found that cute and right. Yeah. So that that's how I partied in college. Yeah, yeah, I was in a frat. You didn't know that? No. I mean, I've always been a frat. I'm always a brother. Like I have some stories about a that people may not. Oh, yeah, let's do that. Oh, man. I gotta go. Right. Oh,

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that's fine. You can leave. You don't have to be here. I can take over. Yeah, you can go. Go for saving. Those are when your babies get older. Oh, man. We're gonna get it on record. Here's your play form later if you like. That'd be good. Your dad was generous with a short haircut and a fat head. That's that's how I roll it back in the day.

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So they're gonna be like, yeah, we know. Yeah, they know. Yeah, they know what Yeah, what are you gonna sit him down and tell him the story? I've never had any any of my dad's friends be like, your dad was a party animal.

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Got no pussy in college? Like, they're never gonna think that. No, I'm saying your dad knows hammering pussy. I'm sure I'm sure and never think about it. Our dad my mom listens to the podcast. So that's not respectful. That's Well, she's never listened. That's what she likes about him. No, he is he's taking it to the grave.

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So we started talking recently.

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And look for one potential embarrassing thing to the next.

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So I I've been trying to PR, Eric annise quasi mentor who I call business dad.

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He was telling me he hates it. He was telling Yeah, he don't think it's funny. He was telling me Do you think you're being kind of humbled by not putting any comedy content out there? And I'm like, Fuck you, right? So I've been trying to do these stories on my social, just to be just as an exercise, let's write a joke. Put it out there. And I usually do after I work out. Because I won't overthink it. And I'll just put it out there. I'll work out and get like try it'll keep my mind off of how terrible working out is or running or whatever. And then I'll put it out there. As soon as I can get it done. You know, after I'm done talking about runner's high and all that stuff, and so I put it I put a story out there that was I thought innocuous. And so it was a I just ranked french fries by the way what's your ranking? Give me your top three well checkers is number one right? Yep. Okay thank you better know what's your and then what do we got to do? Well checkers checkers rally the rally if you're on the West Coast? Well, yeah, it's all the same and then probably chick fil a waffle fries, and then they'll the other ones are kind of the same, right? I McDonald's is my third. So they're in lockstep. That's why we're heterosexual life mates, right? Yeah.

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There's no like,

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gives us a tax break or anything. We've looked into it. It doesn't exist. But right. So what I did, I didn't think about it. So when you go up to pull a gift up, or GIF? Yes. I'll fucking fight you right now. That's fine. We'll make just a knife fight you dude. I'll do it. Like beat it. Michael Jackson style. And we dance We dance knife fight in a parking garage. Secure estimate dance.

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Ryan.

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Yeah, you don't even really need to be here for this. We're just gonna argue about who's gonna win the dance fighting competition and then we'll call you back. I guess this is just the foreplay into the interview. We have to set the table. So So conversation. So like, let me go back

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backwards a bit. So I didn't want in June. And when you pull up the gifts, it's a little timeline. So it's like Pride Month. So I put like, Okay, cool. I'm down with gay people. I wish I was gay.

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Be Awesome. But then we could Yeah, then we get out my thing. Yeah.

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But so put like a unicorn with a rainbow on it, you know, all those things, and I don't think anything of it, you know, it's just silly to be the case of the gays. But I, you know, half a second thought I was like, yeah, this is fun. Um, and so I put on, I put on this social story I saw by black.

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Meaning Bye, bye from black businesses. gif and you hit me up and you're like, hey, not that cool.

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Huh? And I was like, I and when we were talking back and forth. I was like, I hope she doesn't think afterwards. I was like, I hope you didn't think I was just trying to play dumb. Like, I didn't know what I was doing. I really was just like, I don't know, that is important to buy from black businesses. But you're like, you can do better than that. I was like, fuck. And so we had this kind of Convo back and forth. And we've been meaning to have you on to talk about your coaching. But I was like, well, this is relevant. And it it is related to business and how to us honkies

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help help help that out? I don't even know. Right. So it's like, it's one of those things where,

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you know, you make an effort to maybe want to do it, but I think a lot of people don't know how to. And so it was like, why don't you come on and talk about that aspect of everything.

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So how do we do it? How do we how do you buy black and support black businesses? Yeah, without being callous? I guess about it in my social story jokes. Yeah. So your social story. I know you so i and i don't know who follows you, right. But I know your humor and like your, your type of comedy. And like, I know, I can just see you doing it. Because I've seen you post those running videos. I can see you being like, oh, I'll put that on there. This is funny. Like, I'm not thinking about it. I didn't really think anything of it. And I thought you were literally bound to tell us about black owned businesses where we could get what you were talking about. That's what I was confused is where it started. Right? So I was like, What is he talking about? Oh, and I figured it was just like you explained it. So knowing you though, I think it's so I just wanted to touch on that. Because I think it's important to knowing you. I was like, Of course I'm going to give you grace. And because I know you and you're my friend, and you're a business owner, and I think you have a voice and a platform, etc. It's my duty as your friend. Yeah. And as a black owned business, a woman business owner also to just be like, Hey, we can do better. Like when we know better, we do better. And we never see that someone else can do better. We pointed out right? I think that's what we should all do. Yeah. So that. That's Yes, I'm sure do. Yeah. Right. That's gonna come from anybody. So I was just like, I was confused. You could actually be telling people to buy black. I think people will listen to you. Especially if you've made it funny, especially if you were actually talking about a real business. I might. Yeah, he didn't. So you did not they had the phrase by black had nothing to do with what you were talking about in your shopping bag.

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Exactly. This is neat. I just like threw it on there. I was like, Yeah, I support that. I'm cool. The bag itself was like, called this killer. It was black and you put by black. It would be something that you would tag about a black business and just say like, this is a black business. Oh, okay. So it was from black owned business. Now. That's what he put on there. That's why I was confused. This is why you're confused. This is why I'm confused. Right? Now. I'm just finding out Eric doesn't look at my stories.

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Can you guys

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run this back? I don't pay attention to your need. Explain it to me. So it was just a flippant, like gift to put on there. But the message I agreed with, but it had nothing to do with the video I made. So

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no, my point was you have an influence people listen to you. You can do better. I think if you actually were telling people you're like born and raised in Tampa, if you were telling people about a black owned business in Tampa, people will go Oh, that's interesting. Maybe I'll look into it. Yeah, no, that's fair. And I overestimate my reach. But yeah.

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I think that's fair. And I'll do one after after we do this. So I think to answer your question, how does one do that? I think being plugged in and the way that you are knowing what businesses are black owned, because maybe you wouldn't know so I am the face of my business as a coach but I provide a service but if I provide it

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Like if I sold cops, and I didn't have my face or story with my face on it, you wouldn't know that this cup was black owned, right? So I think it is being well networked and just doing due diligence and, and having intention around where you spend your money. And knowing like this cup was made by who and who manufactured it. And once you learn about their supply chain, is it sustainable? Is it Do they have corporate responsibility does their organization support D and I view aligned with their values just, I think it's about being educated in your purchases in general, and then is a plus, if that business is a business of color, I think that there is, at least in the black community, and I have tried to do this be more intentional about doing that due diligence, I wasn't always aware, you know, you just go to Target and pick stuff up or order it off Amazon, it's because it's easy. But I think being intentional, especially in a pandemic, in a recession, when small businesses are struggling to take the effort to maybe spend two extra bucks to support that local business. And then you know, maybe going the extra mile and a black, my phone was very black people I think are doing that more, and hopefully people of color doing that more to say, you know, what, I'm going to intentionally behind cups from black people, if I need a cup, or I'm going to intentionally buy like, Oh, we need a microphone upgrade. Are there any, like businesses that make microphones, you know, just it's, it's the intention of an intentionality of thinking about it, versus just making a purchase off the internet because you need it. So I think that's the best way to do it. And to buy locally, it helps to be well networked in a way that you are. So you could probably speak to that law, you know, a lot of different people, a lot of different business owners across culture lines, if you will. And so that's why again, you could say, oh, you're looking for a life coach. And you don't have to say, I know a black owned life coach, or, you know, black business where she's, but you would just shout me out, like, I think this person could be a good fit for you check her out, and I happen to be black. So I think it's one doing your due diligence and to like shouting out black businesses when you can because black businesses, I think this might be something that white people might not know, it's just we just don't have the resources always, that other people do have, in terms of funding in terms of reach in terms of just resources and everything. And so anytime you can get assistance, a shout out or referral, it's it, it does a lot, it's really impactful, and the black community and it trickles down. So it may be I was gonna say what jumps in my mind is the I don't know what it's called. But there's a company that they bypass Amazon and they give you local businesses that you can get delivered very similarly to Amazon, and like the speed and everything. And it's like, jumpsuit, like thing I'm thinking about is like, Oh, can for black owned businesses, can they either piggyback onto that scenario where it's like, oh, I'd like to also personally purchase from a black owned business, or like, have their own separate thing where it's like, Okay, if you'd like to, you know, one vam her just locally and then also, you know, help any, you know, particular ethnicity, ethnicity or whatever, you know, any people from whatever walk of life that you feel passionate about helping. That could be a thing. Write that down. Can I do the super white guy? Yeah, that's when they're backed into a corner of feeling like they're a little racist is like, Look me. No, no, I'm gonna do that impression of the white guy that's like, Oh, no, I'm getting accused of being racist. Or like not loving any other races. Like, I have a lot of black friends. Martin was one of my favorite sitcoms like Sinead was great. Like, you do these things. That sounds way more racist, overt racist, to be like, Damn, Gina. Yeah, like, right. I want her action Park every day after high school. I love it. No. But I'm saying like, Is there a list? Well, that bond? Is there a list of, of,

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you know, is there associations or something where you can go like, for anybody listening, like if they were like, I'm just

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in marketing, it's all about like, you talk about from the other side, from the business side, people make purchases with their heart, not their mind. And you try to catch him at that point. A lot of the time when we're talking like b2c kind of stuff, consumer related products, you know, luxury goods, stuff like that stuff, you might get advertised on Instagram or something, right?

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And so you're trying to catch him at that position. Now, if someone were to take that, that kind of five seconds to go, Hey, I'm going to try to look, I'm going to try to source out some

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black owned business is there

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somewhere to go or resources that might know off the top of your head? I know that's kind of a loaded question.

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But like, can I? Is there something where I can go? I want to support?

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Does my idea already exist? Is there a database somewhere? I think that it does a little bit. So yes. And now. So,

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for example, there is a, I wish I could think of the name of it. But that might be something for you all to research on putting your show notes, there is a tour that happens in Tampa Bay, and we have a, I believe, mutual acquaintance slash friend loss who has done this, and that's why I know about it. But there's a tour where they literally take the one of us a rat going around to local black owned businesses. And I don't know the name of that. But I know there's a thing that exists, and I've seen it on social media. So there's that too. Your local chamber should have that demographic information. Hopefully, I know that, for example, the Tampa chamber has a black business owner accelerator program something or other. And so they should have a directory of black owned businesses that are in their program. They're looking for resources, and support and etc.

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That also speaks to like diversify your world in general, you find out about women owned businesses, LGBTQ i o i own businesses, Latina, Latina, owned businesses, by diversifying your network, right? It happens a bit organically. And also, like, Don't sleep on Google, like just do a quick Google search of like, when you're about to buy, like, I need a new phone case. And so instead of just because we're so like, it just happens, like next thing, you know, you bought it on Amazon, and you click the button, because you can buy now and it's prime and it happens in two seconds. Go, oh, I wonder if there's any local businesses, I have phone cases, I wonder if there's any local women owned businesses, that cell phone, you know, it might take you getting in your car to do it might take you paying for that $5 in shipping, or whatever it is, but just doing a little bit of due diligence. So I think those lists are out there. Yeah, if you for them, but I also think

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maybe we all need to do a bit more due diligence, and put those lists together to you know, I agree. You could do a shout out right now, like listeners, like as you find businesses, like, email us and let us know, we'll put a list together like that. I'll do that list. That's easy. Yeah. Well, yeah, I'll share with everybody as well throw it on our social because we, somebody has to doing something. Yeah, they're in a lot of people going out googling and going to the Chamber of Commerce and being like, I'm gonna make my own list of these, but like, that's not gonna happen. We're gonna have to do it for him. And as you're talking to, as you're talking about it, you kind of give me an idea because there's every city if you're in a city, which most of America kind of lives in some kind of metropolitan area, or or near one, that there's always a, a local newspaper, or alternative newspaper that gives out awards. And for the year, two businesses, typically, we have creative loafing, which is here, Charlotte, I think two other cities Atlanta something else that they have like best LGB t QA.

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There's, it's like doing the E get that right. Is that all? Is that all that is that? There's another one in there? I think now I heard Oh, early anyway, the point being like, there is there's probably in a ward somewhere every year that's given to that at least that's like a jumpstart to something, you know, yeah. I have a lesbian barber and it shows. Did you wish that lesbian barber in Tampa, she's like, do you want to look like Rihanna? I was like, No, it was like too late. Our conversation is so important, because people will just look like reanna. Right, right. Yeah.

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Because we aren't thinking about it. Well, yeah, it's mindfulness right now. Like it takes that moment to think about where else can you buy, because we're all just running a target ordering from instacart getting on an

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effort to diversify where you purchase from. Convenience is king. You know, you learn in any business class, it's like your high price. But your unique differentiator, your low price you sell in volume, and then now we have this thing where it's kind of a different model where convenience has taken over. And Amazon's like kind of, you know, starting to get a lot of flack because they kind of control the labor market. Right. So it's like, the more we're lazy about our purchases. It's really hard to be honestly, but maybe maybe you can look up the vendor that is in Amazon, to like, do little due diligence and maybe use that Amazon

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a Chrome extension. I was telling you about the fakespot. Yeah, well, because all I did I put that on. But what there's another one, though there's a there's an there's one valid does due diligence where I'm just throwing it out there like it exists, but I don't know what it is. The there's one for local businesses that they say it's basically the same price as Amazon, I'll get and get most things for how about I'll meet you in the middle there, you can do smile.amazon.com. And you can donate to a charity that is for maybe helping

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businesses or helping communities that are, you know, don't have the same opportunities kind of thing? Sure. Yes, I think diversifying you're where you get your content to is really helpful. An example is loving a DJI, I follow her on Instagram, she's a black woman, writer, entrepreneur, keynote speaker, etc. And she just blasted a bunch of black owned businesses, just she's like, this is my day to day, but these are products that I use, maybe you will be interested. And those companies sold out of the product. And none of us would have heard of that those companies unless she put them on her social media. So and I wouldn't have known unless I follow this black woman that has done this due diligence. So I think even just diversifying

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where you are, like, you know, diversify your friends, where you shop even follow on social media. Yeah, you'll be exposed to those things organically a little bit. So don't what if I follow a variety of thirst traps on Instagram? Is that does that count? Do you boo?

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Well, lovey a jai jai

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Liu vV IEA. Yeah. J A why I was wanting to punch that in. Yeah. Well, let's let's talk about the the group coaching session is that I get the term right, I want to make sure. I want to make sure the LinkedIn keyword in their group coaching program, so are you doing sessions with people like I'm fascinated with? When I found we found this out like, five, six years ago from a guy who wanted to invest in our agency, that he was like, Yeah, I do a CEO group where we sit around, and we're all CEOs, and we talk about our feelings. I was like, What? This should exist. Yeah, it was like mind blowing. And, and I was like, Oh, well, they don't really have anybody to talk to, right. It's lonely at the top kind of thing is like when your jet runs out of fuel, right socks, you know, when you have to fire five people, and you don't have time to really give them the exit. So I'm a certified executive coach, and what like, these are real problems that CEOs have. I mean, you're joking. But there's not bro. Well, it's We are the number one comedy business podcast. But I'm saying my CEOs. Look, we used to say entrepreneurship is the dirty secret about it is it's secretly very lonely.

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Yeah, and that that applies to C suite executives, too, because you might as well be in a similar mode, because you're, you're doing so many things, you have to make a lot of decisions. And it all kind of rests on you. But you don't really have anybody to talk to. Yeah, you can't talk to anybody about it, unless you have a coach or a peer group that has gone through the same stuff. So that people join masterminds or groups where they have similar problems they can flesh out. So how does it work? I'm a CEO, or I'm an executive. And I'm your I, I email you I go, I want to maybe join a group. How does this work? Yeah, so my program is not specifically for CEOs and that type of

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curriculum are coaching. So if you came to me, I would probably put a special package together for you for your specific issues, and then maybe introduce you around to my network of CEOs. But my program is called reset your life also found at Rei live.co. And it is not for CEOs. It's for anyone who is looking to do that reset. So you wake up one day, you're like, How the heck did I get here? got kids, I got the tie. I'm a CEO or whatever, I got the title, but I feel like shit, and I just don't feel good. And this is not how I thought I was supposed to go.

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I've always wanted to like, you know, like you quit your job and became a comedian. You know, like you have done some of the things that people wish they could do.

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But there's like someone out there who like dreams of doing that so bad like that calling is deep in their soul and the closest they can get to it is like binge watching comedy on Netflix. And so my group program is for that person. That's like, I'm sorry.

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Take it back, I'm ready to like change my life and actually go do the thing. And so that's the person that I serve someone who's like, I want to do something different, but I don't know how to do it. I want somebody to hold my hand, give me step by step curriculum, give me the community and all the resources to do that, and a pretty quick amount of time, your business therapist of sorts, in a way, right? So it's like, basically, people are telling you I mean, look, when I do discovery sessions with clients, it's the same thing. I'm, I'm trying to figure out about them. It's like a first date a little bit, you're trying to get to know them enough.

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and figure it out long term without directly asking, yeah, thing. I'm not trying to close on the first day, because I'm a gentleman. But I'm saying like, it's one of those things where you, you're empathetic. And then you have we talked about empathy and eagle on the show, and it's your empathetic to go, I'm going to listen, because maybe they don't have someone in their life that actually just listens to him. Most people now, right, because if they're, if they're the hard press kind of executive or their bottom line person, they have to make those decisions and stay true to that absolute kind of decision. And then there's the other kind of executive that is a little bit more collaborative. But they get, they might be too big of an impact, and weighs on them too much the decisions they're making. That seems to be one or the other, just broad strokes. And so you're you're giving you got the the ego aspect to go, here's a plan, I think that can help. Is that fair to say? fair to say some people don't have someone to talk to without judgment. So people might have someone to talk to, but they're not getting support. And it's shocking how many people's partners are supportive.

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Or people just don't have they're in a friend group, but they can't really talk about their dreams and goals and that friend group. And so yeah, people need guidance. They need steps. It's like I need to know what to do like tomorrow after work, what am I going to do tangibly that I can like sit down for the 20 minute window to move things forward. So people need that structure, listening air and structure and guidance. Yeah. And like, I call myself a hype woman, because people need to be spoken into, like a you can do it. Like, no, a lot of you Yeah, a lot of people don't have that first. And that's like, this sucks. It's gonna be hard. Nobody said it's gonna be easy, but keep going. Like, it's the amount you're sweating underneath your clothes, but keep going. Keep moving forward. So people need that confidence building, they need to be spoken into, they need someone who's listening without judgment, and they need somebody to just straight up tell him what to do. And they need someone to like kind of cut through the Bs, especially if they're an executive, they're getting Yes, all the time. They need someone that's like, this is a mirror like you said this, but you're doing this or do you really want that? Or, you know, so, right?

33:07

Well, no, I mean, I was I was gonna say, knowing you, you know, we've known each other for a long time, knowing you, you're not gonna dance around it, you're gonna be like, now that you shouldn't be a juggler.

33:20

You know, like, I think that you're not, I've seen you walk, you're not going to be able to do it. You know, like, it's telling truth telling, right? Yeah. Which is like, kind of the bet. You know, what you want to hear out of someone that is coaching or, or therapies, you would it would make an impact. That's right. If you're hiring somebody and you're like, no, says for you, and your other point, like, shit, you're, I'm paying you and you're telling me that, like this person, if they're like, able to then milk you and they're still being like, I'm not gonna charge you any more. Because this is a waste of time. A lot of people I know want to tap out. Yeah, I love that. You got to know when to tap out. Yeah, one there. And then what you said earlier a little bit ago was that sometimes I call myself a male cheerleader for a lot of clients when I'm like, short, shorts, just because powerful legs, it's because, you know, I'm pretty good, you know, pushing me busy. Mm hmm. And I, you know, good burn, I've got the essence really is what it breaks down to. But, but I'm saying like, if you tell me you want to do something, I'll try to annoy you about what you want to do. Because I like when people do it for me. And so it's one of those things where a lot of people can get defeatist before they even begin, you know, like, I want to do this I really feel calling to do write poetry.

34:44

Yeah, that's what people should know not to be like, I'm gonna be the I'm going to do that. Because, I mean, between the two of us, we will come back and be like, did you did you do that? Yeah. You're really, really good at

34:55

that. I told you years ago and you're like, are you still doing the thing? Or like, have you done the I'm like, wow.

35:00

Remember that?

35:02

That's accountability to just telling somebody about people don't have accountability. Like they need to tell somebody what they're gonna do and have someone help them hold themselves accountable to do it. Well, I think because I know how it is when you're like, like, I wanted to be a comic since I was a little kid and like, you're just like, I'm gonna hold on to this not telling anybody for a long time, until I kind of do it. And then then you do it. And you're like, I don't know if I'm any good at it. And you're, you're kind of always questioning yourself. So it's like, then when you put it out there, you're like, well, I put it out there. I have, I have to keep doing Yeah. Where were you said you're going to be? Well, I quit. And seek out I sought out people that knew stuff and really tried to absorb like, I've told the story, like Bert kreischer, when I was 21 and moved to LA, he was nice enough to meet me at the nose improv and gave me like, really great advice. And then he was like, come in, come in the main room. And every time, every time I hang out with them, and show you the most common overview ever been in my life, and then goes up and fucking rips it like, fucking murders. And he's like, yeah, that wasn't that great. I'm like, what the like, but he'd be like, Look, you got to keep at it. And he, I think he's like, you're an athlete. He was an athlete, like, it's a lot of reps. And it was like, Oh, I can kind of contextualize this a little bit. So you need like, seeking out these nautical beacons like yourself, if you want to do something outside of your comfort zone. Yeah, you need somebody that's like, keep going to have somebody like that, that's like, you're going to get up there and bomb. And you just have to do it again. And do it again and do it again, like anything you want to do. And when you first start coaching, you may not like somebody asks you something you're like, I don't know, or, you know, it's like, why am I not able to get this person to like, move forward. I mean, that comes with experience of working with a lot of different types of people and training and, and things like that. But gosh, it would really suck if I quit, right? And now I've like, made an impact. So I think people need somebody to tell you like, keep going, it's not always going to be pretty or perfect, but like do it anyway. Fail fast. still keep going and like pushing you for like, everybody like seeking out your Dewar, though, like your special kind of productive do work, because I'm a C plus student. So I have to try harder. I've, I've got a small penis. So I have to do a lot of foreplay. You know, a lot of these things to make up for my

37:32

brain knows who you're talking about. Yeah. So it's one of those things where I think like, Eric is an artist and I walk in every time and I go do it better. And he's like, yeah, it's me with this little sticky carries around. It's like in his back pocket all the time. I was like, I don't know. Or, like, what is this bullshit? I can't believe you're showing your children this mini flat. pack a leg, cartoonishly put it over his head to Canvas so his head pops through.

37:59

But uh, alright, before before we have to close it out. We have to ask everybody the first time on.

38:05

What advice would you give your 13 year old self?

38:09

Oh, yeah, we're deep. Yeah.

38:14

Yeah, you didn't see that coming? I didn't. Yeah, we're not only take jokes. We're both. We're not all.

38:22

My 13 year old self, man. Yeah. So we put this to heart a few things. I'm like, Look, you could die. Don't do some of those things that I'm we can vamp. If you die that is like, but I survived it. So know what I would tell my 13 year old self, we can give you some time. This is what I would tell my 13 year old self, okay, Chase, joy and like Keep having fun. Because we kind of grow up and like the school system gets us then you have to pick a pick a degree, get a career, there's going to be a recession's

38:59

just keep chasing joy and play. And try to have as much fun as you can. everything that you do. If something gets uncomfortable, it doesn't feel good, you don't want to do it then don't like figure out a way not to do it.

39:15

The point I think of the human experience is to decondition all the crap that we have to go through, but to have fun and when you're like in your purpose and usually feel really really good. That's why you can keep doing it. You never run out of energy doing it. So I would tell my younger self to like, key Pat like don't stop having as much fun as possible. Because I feel like like college, you know, we had a lot of fun in school. And then adulthood.

39:44

Then like adulthood, it's

39:46

it's always like just keep chasing joy and having fun. Don't let anybody like put you into the box of like, you're an adult and you got to be serious and you got to do I don't have to do anything. You know. Yeah, I love that and no know what you'd like is fun when you're a little kid.

40:00

Don't get talked out of it, right? So it's like, yeah, people are like, That's stupid. You're like, I don't really like this. And I think that kind of falls under the umbrella of like, kind of what everybody says is like, don't fall into this stupid social thing that you don't care about anyway, because it didn't matter when you look back at it. And if I like playing with Legos probably way too late. But I still like playing with Legos. But it's like a great that's you feel important teachers, teachers, the same thing. People change their whole trajectory based on the feedback from one teachers feedback, you know, one time, right. Yeah. Yeah. new teachers, kids. Yeah. Well, look, I had a hot math teacher. And I think that's why I was, yeah, shout out to Julie Draper What up girl

40:49

that could actually get back to me.

40:52

Hashtag

40:55

to do it, so that the keywords pop up, Julie? tag, whatever, she's a former cheerleader was my math teacher in middle school. Guess what, guess who got to hit is to make up for the season DS and the other things. But yeah, the smart kids?

41:10

Yeah. And I got to be

41:13

pretty appreciate you coming on.

41:16

We'll try harder, and try to do better next time, we'll do better. No, I'm when I read it. I read it. Like when a parent says I'm disappointed. And I was like, Ah,

41:26

you know what, though? I think I want to point out that this is a great example. I feel like last year, people were white people specifically, were very afraid. And I want to say last year, I mean, like George Floyd, the

41:43

just that whole like situation in our country, and everything coming up in our society, and why people were like afraid to say anything afraid to ask questions, afraid of just all the things. And so I think this is a really, really good example of someone going, Oh, man, I screwed up or like, Oh, I made a mistake, or Oh, I just didn't know or I thought it was funny. Is somebody saying you can do better, you know, and then pointing it out. And you receiving that in such a positive way and going, Yeah, I can do better. Thank you for that. Let me actually show other way people, how we can do better. And I just want to point that out that like it's not, it doesn't have to be painful. It doesn't have to be anything, it can just be an opportunity for all of us to expand. And so I just want to give you some kind of kudos for the way that you handled it and just being receptive and open and like not have like being defensive or just anything. I don't know. I just feel like I want to point that out. But well, I appreciate it. This I mean, this show when we originally kind of got to go in and when Eric got in his co hosts, you know, and we really started taking off with it. It was really about we want to hear about failure. We want to hear how you fucked up and then how you kind of resolved it how you were accidentally racist. Well, I mean, like you're and then here's practice. And then here's the pragmatic tips. Here's not a Tim Ferriss like, you can only you can work four hours a week and get by like, that doesn't help anybody. Like, that's cute and nice and seems cool, but it's a wet dream. It's it's one of those things where I think like, the pragmatic advice, like here's a pro tip. Don't ask your black friends. Don't touch that. Don't ask to touch your hair. They don't sound cool. That's a good one. Yeah, do your white people to watch Yeah.

43:29

No matter how fluffy and you want to

43:32

know how parliamentary you are. Yeah, no.

43:37

I mean, I didn't realize I didn't realize that was a thing white people do a lot and I was disgusted to find out that's like a thing. I know. It's like, not part of that white people. Like, you know better do better and then like help other people do better. So just kudos. Me Not a pat on the back. You know what, kudos to you. Really, if you see like a white person talking to a black person and be like, don't ask to touch their hair. They that say that to them? Yeah. So that they didn't we're doing our part. Yeah. blurted out, like do you have Tourette's, right? Just Bearsden. Doesn't matter. Just do it. No, I that's what society needs. Well, no, I mean, like, this is what friends are for to keep you accountable, even though we don't get to hang out as much as we want to. But it's one of those things where I never like, especially comedy. I never want anybody to feel bad about any of it. We'll be doing like, I'll always be trying to be the joke.

44:30

That's why I was like, Oh shit. This is not cool. So we'll do better and thanks for coming on. Thank you so much for having me. This is really fun. So your girlfriend