#335: How To Make Green Bean Tea A Thing Or Something and Learn From It

SUMMARY KEYWORDS

people shit amazon thought dude google wait talk real big tampa largo sweat hire podcast lived hbo you tube fucking sticker

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sweat equity podcast and streaming show the number one business comedy podcast in the glow

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on the globe, in the globe in the globe. That's how you know where I'm at with my head today. People who live in the center of the Earth, there's Flat Earthers everywhere. They're all around the globe. What am I doing?

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prompting you into an Alex Jones the president of my stupid the number one comedy business podcast in the world pragmatic entrepreneurial advisor. Talk. See I flipped it up. What am I doing by explaining myself because you didn't get what I was saying? No. 2020 is best small medium enterprise business buzzword podcast the United States 2020 one's best podcast in streaming entertainment studio, eastern United States media innovator awards 2021 hosted by, you guessed it corporate vision magazine.

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The lawyer horn What about Lyza? What's she doing? Just chillin set my policy from behind. That's how you apologize. real aggressive. Listen on iTunes, Apple podcast, Spotify, this episode sponsored by we're gonna It's just no guests. So it's gonna be all three right now. ExpressVPN. Try Express vpn.com out the clock. Taking a knee or sweat. Get you three months free on a virtual private network. Don't get tracked by Big Data. They're tracking you. Your credit score can get affected by all the stuff you're doing with the data. Try ExpressVPN comm Ford slash sweat three months free. Grasshopper, the app the entrepreneurs phone line app, try grasshopper.com Ford slash sweat $75 off an annual plan. Don't have a Google Voice number. Don't Answer your phone who it is. Don't answer no limit studios.

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In general, even though it's kind of funny to go no, there are studios for anybody over 30 and last video hasn't heard that joke of Warby Parker Warby Parker. trial.com, forward slash sweat. It's five free pairs of sunglasses eyeglass was hit your prescriptions in there five free pairs to try at home. If they fit my horse head. They can fit your head. Let's get started. Hi. What about my sweater?

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I got a new side hustle for us. Okay. Do it. It just came to me dude. Okay, just now. Yeah, okay, good. We didn't know we were gonna talk about but while he's doing the intro.

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Hey, cuz, you know, I'm so good at reading that I can think about something else.

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I came up with a business plan while I was doing the ads. So I loud ASMR.

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Okay, Have you have you? Uh, you know, got romantic with ASMR? Have I got romantic like with yourself? You know? No, it's, it's for those that don't know, auto sensory meridian response. meridian is an interesting part of that. Yeah, I didn't know that. Honestly, I thought it was. I don't know what I thought it was. Or autonomous. Autonomous Jesus' Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response.

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So that's the thing when people get on the mic, sometimes they'll talk like this. Like, like a, it doesn't even have to be that like, you know, it could be like, amazing, amazing people into it. It could be a horny version of NPR when they talk like this. Yeah. Well, I mean, or it can be noises or all.

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Or what I mean, here's a word from vocabulary Middle School, it could be an onomatopoeia. Yeah, amount of PA Yeah, word that sounds like it's written or it's written out, or the way you say it. The word is what it sounds like. This is one of those instances, I have no idea how to Google that word. Because I don't even know how to find a PA. I want to say it starts with Oh, and and then the rest of it. Oh, you know, the show isn't us trying to to old guys trying to Google should

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we do a man I want to get to the point where we have a producer that can Google for us? Who can spell onomatopoeia? Oh, no, we can make fun of them because he will know how to do it either. I bet that most Americans were like, idiot. Most Americans do not know. But most Americans don't know what that word is. No writer. You know, most Americans love Joe Biden. Hey, Joe Biden. That's a fair statement. Oh, yeah. What are you doing right now? Well, you know, I did see a sticker on the gas station when I filled up my tank that had Joe Biden pointing to the cash part of it, you know, rings you up when you fill up your tank. I did this

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like mad someone really? Like we went all out to like have the right height? Yeah, it

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just take a little sticker. We're like, you know, you have the fuel number, how much gallons and then above it's the cash. Oh, it was

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there's a sticker pointing to that. Okay, I thought it was on their car. And it was like, Oh, I did this like that kind of like, that is, you know, direct that energy somewhere, whoever did that, you know, take that energy and direct it into a real thing. Are you saying Q anon is not real and doesn't it's really their energy. I'm just saying like, well,

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a little money. Try to write stickers. Shout out to my cue dogs out there. We live in law today. He needs to chill it. People are going to start you know, all become a figurehead of whatever, you know, all that does is make me want to do it more. I know. And who knows? Maybe I'm alright. How about this? So hard, hardcore libertarian Republicans. What do I have open right now? What publication is open?

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The New York Times. Yeah, the one that got big daddy Donny tea elected basically. Right. So that was like Hillary rules. Trump is such a monger in 2016 I think it kind of pushed him to getting elected. There are so many reverse psychology situations. Oh, yeah, it's the double Jinx Jinx. It's the

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it's the the poison drink and switching it.

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Anyway, I haven't I haven't opened because Amazon's worst HR issue inside Amazon's worst human resources problem. And, you know,

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I'll go back before we get into this. I was working for some affiliate marketing guys learning Facebook ads on the fly from guys that like we're former hackers kind of guys, right? These guys when they figured out affiliate marketing, so we're selling products, you go and click Clickbank or click Clickbank was like, you can go biggest marketplace, you'd see stuff that you would be an advertiser for on one side. And you have people that products that needed people to affiliate market and basically, as the advertiser, you would, you would bid ongoing. I'd like to apply to market this product for every conversion.

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I get X amount back. Yeah, so we did like green coffee bean extract, because Dr. Oz set it on his show. When Oprah left that four o'clock slot. Yes. And he said you can work you can take this miracle drug without having to do anything and lose weight. Yeah, I mean, that's why Congress, like made him eat his own apple. Oh, but he didn't have any piece of this part. That's what's interesting. He didn't have any money in like, actual product. He just wanted to show and set it. So it wasn't like like he was trying to be he's

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he's working dumber. Yeah, like he didn't even make any money off of it, dude, right. So. So I cut my teeth, learn how to do websites, like build out like crusty websites that were all very gross. Got you to upsell, cross sell, got your IP got retarget. remarket got all these ads, learn Facebook advertising from guys that knew like, Hey, if you make an image for an ad, and you make it a little off, it'll get a higher click rate, because people will notice it. Because the pictures are just a little off. Right? Like crazy. It's crazy, because it's a lot different now. Oh, yeah. And a lot of that stuff that they were noticing has been either corrected or like, kind of accounted for. Yeah, there was a big thing with like, can you put a like neon outline on the image that will get like 3% higher click or you know, stuff like that actually just saw remember how they used to you weren't allowed to like have an image with text on it? Yeah. Now that's not as big a thing anymore. I was paying for that. Yeah, you couldn't have more than 10 or 20% tax, something like that. And then you'd have to go to a site that would grid it out for you to say, like, well, he's stealing this image. Yeah. Yeah. Cuz I just gave it away. Because anything you you, you should you show me never bounce. If we have any pragmatic advice. Yeah. Email, an email list. You wanted to clean? Yeah, automatically. And I went in there last night, I think and took my another list in there and put it in there. But I was like, you know, this is free. That means I wasn't. I mean, the basic free plan. Yeah, I didn't do the free one. You didn't know? Oh, no, no. Well, I did well, okay. But something like people on your email list something like, like, we'll take this background over photo for free, like, the person just probably owns that. Or how about this better example. I was trying to upload a t shirt design to RedBubble and now they own the design. It's up there. Yeah. So if you ever tried to do one of those, like Cafe press or a Teespring, or Big Cartel, these these dropshippers that you can put

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Get your own design on. It's your own refer artists like it's all they they own your IP. Yeah. Is that what is that the fine, fine print in it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because the reason it's a buck shirt I had a Tampa Bay Bucs shirt that I showed you is a mixture of both logos that my former partner made because he's a badass designer. I technically own the design because in the, in the dissolving of his partner, partner ship is in there. I got all the design work he did while he was working there. And I just found it I was like, Oh, yeah. And then him and I gotten a huge spat, because it was like, well, he's like, I don't want to lose everything I make. And I was like, I get it. But you got to find one that doesn't do that. And then we never found one. Right. So I had the design. I just remember that. Like, we should always I just wanted that shirt. Well, I just want to make T shirts for myself again. I used to

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love it. What and then if people ask me like, I made it can't have it, mine can't buy it. Plus, we're on this show. It'd be cool to have our own graphic tees or whatever we're making, you know, or I wear my own shit all the time. Yeah, I Yeah.

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You know, who I don't want to wear ship from Old Navy or Masimo or no fear.

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Those are the three brands structure.

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So Amazon's so back to this. So I worked with these affiliate marketing guys, I quit doing it when I walked in. There's a mountain of credit cards because they had to turn so many Facebook ad accounts. This is 2010 2011 I Wild West, the Facebook advertising times? Well, yeah, they would go in Skype. And they had this like Australian dealer of all these like credit cards in Facebook accounts they could use. And so like the physical cards, they got, like literally like a pillowcase of like, on top of a, I don't know, six foot wide Round Table of just a mountain. And I was like, This is gonna be a boiler room situation, as I'm thinking that they're counting that they flew in every week from New Orleans to come in like Tuesday to Thursday, fucking quit was walked out of one office, in the main lobby that I was in where all the credit cards it was like, I can't do this anymore. You guys are this is too risky. And I was like, I'm out. Before that. That's a movie. They put me on. Yeah, they put me in a warehouse. And we had to Skype this. So we started making our own our own green coffee bean extract. Like, they they

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amazing. Oh, it's fucking dogshit. Like, they charged it early dogshit. So as an affiliate marketer, the game was we would get $50 minimum per purchase, the way they tricked you, when you checked out, it would upsell almost always to the highest thing. Like, here's a package for 150. Right? And then our game was like we could keep advertising per conversion about 30 bucks. So we're making 20 to 120 per sale at about 3000 a day. You know, they got sued by the FDA regulating they got sued. Because they tried to make their own product. And they they don't do all this shit you're supposed to do regulatory wise

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to make no but the FDA does regulate that shit. Yes, that? I would I can't talk about that. From there on out. I'll show you after we're done. But yeah, there's an article I can pull up. And so what's it called? So there's your food and drug?

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Yeah, yeah, they considered a drug. Probably.

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Couple I mean, supplements, they have a thing on there. It's not regulated, pretty much across the board, all those things, but but they promised like weight loss or something? Well, they might have done something different where they're like, Oh, coffee beans, like, words into play. Maybe that brought the trophy about I don't know, like I known about chargebacks. Now, like, you can't do this with a merchant, they'll kill you. Because like, let's say you try to do something like this. Now, you'll get so many chargebacks you won't be able to find a merchant processor, you know, online that will take your bankrupt, they don't do the E commerce part of it for you. Right? Right. So it's like, you basically have to make nice, like, I had to do customer service for them for a minute. And it was like, my Medicare is all dried up. I was like, Oh my God. That's wait. And so many people just writing in all these. A lot of old people want to lose weight and stuff. Really, really bummed me out. And then they're like, hey, you've got a business degree. We're going to open a warehouse so we can make $1 or two more per package we're doing about volume 2000 3000 packages a day, again, between 50 or the worst between 50 and 150. Gross, about 20 to 120.

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profit, and then they're like, I was like, okay, cool. What are you gonna pay me and they're like, well, the guy that runs

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Amazon bought that payment the Amazon Amazon warehouse they make about a something like was so absurd. It's like 800 a week and I was like, Okay, let's break this down real quick. I'm gonna do it because you know, I have no options. And I still wanted to like really learn all this stuff.

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I was like, I'll go over you 26 Oh, you were a bitch. I just I just it. No, no, I I saw the forest for the trees like I still I'm glad I did it, but I hated it that quick cash on those. I worked in a warehouse in Largo. For those that don't know, the Tampa Bay area, and people in Tampa Bay don't really know where Largo is. There's three cities Clearwater St. Pete Tampa, and like a triangle. Largo is like the shit in the middle. Yes. It's like, Nope, no one lives there. Except for trailers and warehouses. Right. And so we had to get Craigslist crackheads to come in and package like, I had to deal with all these fucking guys. I could have gotten shipped so easily. Now. I think about it. Yeah, these guys were $1 An hour guys. They would tell me about like a man. Yeah, I was in construction in the bush hunting the other day. And I lost my construction job. So I've been in the bush for a little bit. I'm like, You're lived in your car in the woods, right? That'd be your homeless. Like shit like that. But at the bush, they would all do drugs, telling each other passed.

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So crazy. Ronald, hi, man. Fire. No, dude, seriously, and they'd be like, can I have half his pay for the day?

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Like shit like that? And then that was the next set. They would all do. It was like watching survivor with white trash. It was like, they'd all make alliances. Everybody over if we were awful people and they knew I couldn't get. There's not one. I did it for probably three months. There's not one week where I had the same guy show up every day for a business week. Really? No, no, it's like eight $10 an hour to work their way up to CEO from that dude, all they had to do now I was like, I will promote someone to drive the trolleys. Let me promote you. Yeah, give me the reason. I had to get a Zebra printer. Big huge laser printer that shot out shit like 1000 shipping labels, and stamps.com hooked up from Excel charts. All that shit. Surprised? So yeah, for sure. And so dude, 3000 each come and just think of 3000 things a day. That'd be I'll never stop like Newman in Seinfeld. Yes. timely and

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we night shout out to the whole thing. But and so. So like, we went back and forth and I was like, okay, but for Amazon people and this is before Amazon is what it is now. Right? So we got to think 10 years ago. They're still fucking huge and they're still dominant right? In the online shopping. Yes. But just though like it was gonna go away it's only gotten worse. Better. No worse for workers. Right so we got the swab. I got $800 An hour Okay, sure. That's what that got it yeah, Amazon shirt. But they also have benefits they have like a corporate ladder to go up like there is no impending federal charges. Well, yeah, date no sketchy shit going on. Where your fucking CPA bounces that fly in sketchily. Anyway, schedule? Yeah. I mean, yeah. And so like, the now I look at it. And it's, oh, by the way, I took it now we're in the great resignation. Right. Sure. And on top of that, Amazon, we were talking about this earlier today, I have conspiracy thoughts about Google and what information they like to show

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will just only only thing only thing I look at is when something has too much of a market share or dominance.

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You know, it is you got to be skeptical a little there. Yeah. You would hope that what they're doing is computerized that the way they say it and that there is not necessarily that politicizing of it or like human tainting, you know, like, where there hopefully it's all like algorithmic where thought then there's still a human unit that makes the algorithms and tweaks it.

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Yeah, there's no way they can. YouTube is a big example of comedians. Because anytime you just talk about like, the core

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the the COVID era, like in talk about anything that could be possibly about injections and you got probably like over 100,000 views a video that thing's flagged demonetized immediately and so

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Google YouTube, one two punch traffic Yeah, in the world. We were nerding out on some list of the SEM rush website sem rush put out put out all the the stats on like the top traffic sites the power rankings, obviously Google newborough Udo and but YouTube number two

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right there. That's Batman Robin that's like, you know, that's there. They're connected. If that is a good way to put it, YouTube's super strict on that stuff for not Arsha

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I stopped uploading to YouTube. I'll be uploading Oh, well you know, at this point I'd like to see how many episodes behind we are you just do it all in one fell swoop. Oh, yeah. I just don't want felt weekend I just forget.

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So

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what we got made fun of on on Bubba the love sponge for it. Good. That took the wind out of our sails. Um, you're back on there. I got some words for bubba. Oh, man. Cool. You. You sound like you just want to get in a bar fight. You're kind of Yeah, what do you got? Oh, wait, dude, I played the putt, bring it up the Bubba the love sponge. Greatest Hits, and he wants to hire me 500 times doesn't return an email or phone call that whatever you have, yes. Where are anything tracking the emails? I did at the time? And you can see them open it and click and share a weight. No, I did not actually have it at the time. Yeah, I was a but doesn't matter. Well, if anybody's listening wants to track emails, there's Yesware. I know off the top my head and then there's if you don't like that one, I would go to alternative to dotnet and look up alternatives to Yesware or any other software. I do. Remember you telling me about that recently? Did you just say that Google will do that? What?

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No, Google has a oh, we forgot to bring this up in the show. I just realized Google has it scheduling email out. That's what it was scheduling in to me. Okay. That's a really small thing. I don't recognize when that happened. But I saw it the other day. And I was like, you know, it's not everything I used to make a bigger deal about it. Like I'm gonna schedule this and hit some here. Right. But I do want to hit people with email sometimes at the best point. I know when to hit them with you know, yeah. And when you're thinking about it, well, also, I like scheduling some of these that aren't urgent. Like, I'll write one out, schedule it and I might circle back to it to redo it. Especially if I'm drunk. Sure. You know, trying to type something with my sweaty fingers on an iPhone and I write 90 degree October down here in Florida. You got it? No, it was yeah, you got the hotkeys for this thing.

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But But Bob was a good example. He was a guy that couldn't be on terrestrial radio, public airwaves. After a while they just the three corporate consolidated companies that own 95% of radio around the country. Didn't want to hire him. Right. So we did Eric this next one is Eric I think Eric

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Eric Redner Eric, we like I think, Eric I'm looking for a video guy No man. Eric Redner

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Erica, you're gonna have an invitation to hire Eric but fucking Eric makes it happen you know bits and pieces and an ancillary guy you know, at first I just can't put you I just can't fast track you to the top like I did on it i I'm hiring Eric please remind me to fucking hire Aries I lived in different times. I hire Eric I like them and you know I'm gonna talk to Eric privately by maybe doing some video shoot for us as I like them or you guys like finished I like them

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anonymously everybody agree on Eric Yeah

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yeah

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no people have two times that's happened to him. Whatever. That's a I've heard that for cutting a while. I know I gotta clip that out and then tag them on it. Yeah do it because that the only reason they got a hold of us is because you put them in the the title of the episode like two summers ago with honor right there third MIC CHECK mic whatever you want to call it? Yeah. On the show. It's funny the chick mic Well, I mean a lot of radio hasn't standard like voice a female voice right it's hard it's a hard seat for a lot of women to do

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anyway I'm just gonna let it go. What No, it's a it's not it's not because it's women doing it it's because the seat just as a position is tough. It's difficult right because mostly dudes

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don't don't soundboard me out.

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When family already sounds me don't worry about getting late. I'm gonna I'm gonna do sounding to you. You know, that is what you I don't know what? Spike in your wiener hole.

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God it's so much worse. It's sounding How often are you looking to shut up? I mean,

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what what's the point? What's the HBO one?

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Expert

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real sex on HBO that's years ago where you got it from you

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cuz real sex you go oh yeah, and then like you'd see HB up. All I need see nudity and you're like, yes. The little nudity like warning? Hell yeah. And then HBO and it's called real sexy like Fuck yeah. And then it goes to like Germany and some guy puts fucking railroad spikes down urethra

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All right, I'll find it. Hold on. Let me fiddle. I've been on the air for like 20 years. No, I'm telling that's where I heard it 20 years ago, Greg, what about all the other 900? gross things? What? What about him? When you say it? Like, why? Why are you blaming? What about what about them to take responsibility for yours for perversions? Don't blame HBO? It's not TV, it's HBO. You know, I think about it a lot. I'm so glad I don't have any fetish or anything. It is nice. Right? If you if you get all the equipment, do you have any friends, like close friends that have some kind of kink? Or Quirk? That I know I will openly talk to you about it? No, not that I know of. Yeah. Now I have to find out. Well, I mean, it's mostly comics that talk to me openly about this, but it's like, because they talked about on stage and shit. So it's our shirt. And then you'll be like, are you really into getting like DOM? Like your sub or whatever? It's called? subordinate. Whatever.

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I mean, what?

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Um, but it's like you're really into that is like, yeah, I got a high pressure job all day. So it's nice to not have to make it my full stop. Yeah, you know, stilettos real PowerPoint. I like them on my balls.

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So that, I don't know, I find that interesting. But such like, like addicted to video games time suck. Like you're in a fortnight or where? Oh, yeah. Well, I mean, of course, let your hand over. You gotta let the people know. No.

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Whoa, mad talking. We need to get on our watch. You need to get on Twitter. I thought about it. Don't dumb this crowd. Do it. I mean, why not?

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Why not? The we were just talking about the sexual stuff. In your real life. I know. Yeah. fortnight, blah, blah, blah.

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That we don't have that time suck. At kink, right. Yeah, obsessed with magic. Imagine like, especially for dudes like sex is.

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As far as brain power, mental energy goes like women don't. They don't understand. Like, really? Like, they don't understand that we understand them. They we know they're emotional about it. Most of them. Right? Well, sure. But I mean, they understand where utilitarian yes, they don't get that part of it. And, you know, just the time putting in my point being that if you're a man with a kink,

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and you've been doing it for a minute, it's like just the amount of work and money and effort to go into it. It's like what

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it means is time yeah, a lot of it like that free thought time where you're not working. You're not really doing anything. You might be folding laundry you're like, oh, man, I can't wait to get latex Yeah. Holy.

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Fucking sweet from that rat. Yeah, like, man. Oh, God, I can't wait like yeah, to get slapped in the face. Right cat of nine tails or something crazy.

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I never got it. I get hope I never get there. No, no, I don't I don't have it by now. You're probably fine. Really, really rich and powerful. Most of the people I know that have something like that. They had a crazy traumatic childhood at some point. That's usually made it really sad though. No, I mean, I mean, you you want to know, I thought I have all the time. That's really sad is such my pussy from behind Saturday. Sadly, we were too fat or ugly to get molested or didn't. But growing up, but sadly, there's like a lot of adults that got something really fucked up happened to them. I know. Why are we talking about this? Because there's nowhere else to talk about this. What? There is anywhere but here better help. Better help.com forward slash sweat. It's not a real link

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No sweat but better help. Calm better helps great. It got me into therapy.

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We shy advertise a podcast we should because we are kind of good to actually I've been thinking about I've been thinking about like doing a you know, retune? Anyway, so better help how I actually got my feet in the water of doing therapy with my therapist that I did would use hired for a while whenever gig sessions with for a while so as like, you know, if anybody's listening that's like, oh, no, I don't want to go down there. You can make all these avoid. Avoid anything online where you can make these avoidable mistakes.

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Use as though you're like, I don't know, man like trying to zoom. Like I've heard that a lot when I've suggested it to people. It's better than having to drive and I can show your face and whatever excuse you have already like

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it's as easy as it's gonna get the zoom. Yeah, my RV and mine was like, I had it as like a leadoff hitter to another therapist. Like, I was like, Man, I think I'm fucked up or something Ichiro and then I was gonna go Carl Crawford, but that's better. Yeah, yeah.

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I don't know who that

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is. You could talk in Seattle or Edgar Martinez maybe? Maybe Tino Martinez didn

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t know I'm thinking the Yankees West Tampa zone Tino Martinez

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dude, I thought we could get Tino Martinez on yeah we could his brother was the dean of my high school he's doing he's like gettable for us. Yeah, probably like Doc Gooden what's gonna happen is Daddy Don Garlits what's gonna happen is we're gonna go We could totally do that we'll talk about a friend is like what

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would we though would we want to loop analyse still alive? I'm just gonna start naming West Tampa products

31:13

still alive I think so. He read McGrath ready to keel over any minute Fred McGriff man. Oh crap. What's he doing? Here Sheffield. Wait box oh, wait box would be that might be the one that's like a top three all timer.

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Sure, maybe for you like Bo Jackson's like number of ways number one man crush all fame but wait box in there. He's in the man crush author. Yeah, he's in their Top 10 Top three.

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Guide Frank, the guy right in the same but for the listeners. I know. For the listeners. That guy grew up in Tampa. I know we don't have that many famous people that grew out of here. I have one of my friends growing up lived in bombs right next door to Wade Boggs.

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Some people don't know the legend, even though there's an always sunny episode about it. But drink 60 beers on a flight from Seattle to Boston. Yeah. They said he used to show up on the tarmac sitting on a case of Miller Lite. Yeah, it's awesome. Just just played. Didn't miss a lot of game. You went three for five the next day.

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Dude that is like, like, that's like Bert kreischer level. I don't know what a ruffian I mean, that's dude, I heard Bert thing on on your mom's house on last week and I was like, God damn, that's what I'd said out loud to myself. That's wait box level two. What did he say? Oh, just talk a sucker goes through the whole day with Bert just like drink. Oh, like

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he's like I took a nap. I fell asleep way earlier than me went out another seven hours. That he woke me up in the morning. Whoa.

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I mean, yeah, I'm sad. I missed them at when they're in town last week. But shout out to Dave Williamson for being a cool guests coming on and we're about done with this episode. Yeah. All right. Official. You want me to hit the button. You got anything else? No. What about my swag